...er, sort of. I know it's been a while, but what happened to my background?! Bah humbug.
Anyhow, here I am. Major changes have been set into motion in my life, and though the origins were painful, I'm grateful to them. I've finally, truly been forced to confront things clearly in my life, and to admit consciously that I'm just not happy with my life at the moment. I'm going in a new direction in regards to my business too, and I'm recommitting to losing weight again. Only this time it's different- I've put more of a mental emphasis on it. I've had to practically lobotomize myself to get myself in the right frame of mind, but it's really clicking now. I'm finally drinking enough water, I'm attacking my relationship with food (tonight was really fucking hard, and I didn't do so well, but I'm still just starting out, here) and I'm back to lifting weights again. Except OH SURPRISE SURPRISE, third time I've started a weight routine, and third time I've immediately come down with a cold. The first two times, this knocked me off course. This time, I'm staying put. Apparently, the changes in your body reach as far as the immune system once you start working out- something about antibodies, blah blah I don't really remember what my fella said. But, I've lost two pounds, an inch off my waist, a half inch off my arms, a half inch off my hips, and a half inch off my calves after just three workouts, and getting stricter about what I eat. I'm not giving up this time. I've got a weekly progress tracker I drew up, and I've got a sweet little rewards can I painted in hot pink and black- it says FUCK FAT on one side and DON'T QUIT on the other. Every pound lost gets a penny, and every workout gets a nickel, though I should probably up it to ten cents a workout and a quarter a pound. I was just really short on change when I came up with those numbers, haha. I've got a secret Pinterest board up too, that only I can see, since it has nothing to do with yarn or knitting or my business, and it too is called FUCK FAT. I've also got a linen bracelet made of my own recycled yarn on my wrist, with five beads on it, each bead representing two inches I want to take off my waist. I'm going to get back into cardio too- I'll be going on long walks again, and I'm gonna add jumping rope this time. Just have to get a new mp3 player- going out is no fun without music on! All that aside, I'm still 14 pounds down from my highest weight.
My relationship with food is a passionate one, but it needs to change. I fucking love fruits and veggies, and I don't crave sweets or fried foods for the most part. I don't keep crappy food around, period, so I can't eat it. But... every Saturday, is Chinese food, and every Sunday is some local place or other now, and every Friday is Chipotle burritos... I've finally found a non guilt inducing Chinese dish (not on the diet menu- their diet options are revolllttinnnggggguhhhh) but my problem now is how to stop eating BEFORE I'm painfully full. I yell at my older cat when she eats too much, too fast, and winds up puking it up everywhere, but I do the same thing- minus the puking. What a hypocrite I am, eh? It's harder for me though, because the food keeps getting pushed in front of me, and if the food is there, I'M GONNA WANT TO FUCKING EAT IT. I wish my fella didn't love shitty food so much.
I've been knitting up a storm lately, on SKIRTS. I'm really excited to be able to wear them when I get thinner. Once my gut shrinks, they are gonna look F I N E fiiiiiiine. They're done in linen stitch, in all different yarns- recycled, novelty, etc. One is neon and a pencil skirt with a slit in the back, and one is mostly soft greens and pinks, fitted, until a ruffle at the bottom. And the third, which I'm still working on, is fiery and sparkly and all the colors of autumn, and it's going to be a short a-line. All three are drawstring tops, to allow for the shrinkage of my body. I need to get better about putting projects up on Ravelry. I'm calling them the War and Peace skirts, because I've been mostly listening to the audio book on YouTube as I work on them (all 60 fucking hours of it!). I'm really not sure how I got so sucked into it, because that Tolstoy was a verbose motherfucker, but I'm really into it now, much to my own surprise
In other news, I've decided to learn Russian, just for fun... I've dyed my hair red again, and I've been REALLY into a genre of music lately called Retrowave. It's like 80's action movie music, and I don't know why I'm so fucking into it. Much of it sounds the same. Synthesizers, driving beats, chilly ambiance, not many (if any) lyrics... but it just feels so righteous, and ...sexy? I dunno. It resonates with me for whatever reason.
Ehhhhh, I think that's about it for now, I suppose. Drinking all this water and tea (which I no longer put any sugar in- I cut out all sugar from my tea cold turkey!) is making me pee like I've never fucking peed before. It's especially irritating when I'm trying to fall asleep.
I guess I'll probably update in another few weeks or so, I dunno. I'd like to update more than that, to record progress that the numbers don't show, but we'll see. Peace out!
Anyhow, here I am. Major changes have been set into motion in my life, and though the origins were painful, I'm grateful to them. I've finally, truly been forced to confront things clearly in my life, and to admit consciously that I'm just not happy with my life at the moment. I'm going in a new direction in regards to my business too, and I'm recommitting to losing weight again. Only this time it's different- I've put more of a mental emphasis on it. I've had to practically lobotomize myself to get myself in the right frame of mind, but it's really clicking now. I'm finally drinking enough water, I'm attacking my relationship with food (tonight was really fucking hard, and I didn't do so well, but I'm still just starting out, here) and I'm back to lifting weights again. Except OH SURPRISE SURPRISE, third time I've started a weight routine, and third time I've immediately come down with a cold. The first two times, this knocked me off course. This time, I'm staying put. Apparently, the changes in your body reach as far as the immune system once you start working out- something about antibodies, blah blah I don't really remember what my fella said. But, I've lost two pounds, an inch off my waist, a half inch off my arms, a half inch off my hips, and a half inch off my calves after just three workouts, and getting stricter about what I eat. I'm not giving up this time. I've got a weekly progress tracker I drew up, and I've got a sweet little rewards can I painted in hot pink and black- it says FUCK FAT on one side and DON'T QUIT on the other. Every pound lost gets a penny, and every workout gets a nickel, though I should probably up it to ten cents a workout and a quarter a pound. I was just really short on change when I came up with those numbers, haha. I've got a secret Pinterest board up too, that only I can see, since it has nothing to do with yarn or knitting or my business, and it too is called FUCK FAT. I've also got a linen bracelet made of my own recycled yarn on my wrist, with five beads on it, each bead representing two inches I want to take off my waist. I'm going to get back into cardio too- I'll be going on long walks again, and I'm gonna add jumping rope this time. Just have to get a new mp3 player- going out is no fun without music on! All that aside, I'm still 14 pounds down from my highest weight.
My relationship with food is a passionate one, but it needs to change. I fucking love fruits and veggies, and I don't crave sweets or fried foods for the most part. I don't keep crappy food around, period, so I can't eat it. But... every Saturday, is Chinese food, and every Sunday is some local place or other now, and every Friday is Chipotle burritos... I've finally found a non guilt inducing Chinese dish (not on the diet menu- their diet options are revolllttinnnggggguhhhh) but my problem now is how to stop eating BEFORE I'm painfully full. I yell at my older cat when she eats too much, too fast, and winds up puking it up everywhere, but I do the same thing- minus the puking. What a hypocrite I am, eh? It's harder for me though, because the food keeps getting pushed in front of me, and if the food is there, I'M GONNA WANT TO FUCKING EAT IT. I wish my fella didn't love shitty food so much.
I've been knitting up a storm lately, on SKIRTS. I'm really excited to be able to wear them when I get thinner. Once my gut shrinks, they are gonna look F I N E fiiiiiiine. They're done in linen stitch, in all different yarns- recycled, novelty, etc. One is neon and a pencil skirt with a slit in the back, and one is mostly soft greens and pinks, fitted, until a ruffle at the bottom. And the third, which I'm still working on, is fiery and sparkly and all the colors of autumn, and it's going to be a short a-line. All three are drawstring tops, to allow for the shrinkage of my body. I need to get better about putting projects up on Ravelry. I'm calling them the War and Peace skirts, because I've been mostly listening to the audio book on YouTube as I work on them (all 60 fucking hours of it!). I'm really not sure how I got so sucked into it, because that Tolstoy was a verbose motherfucker, but I'm really into it now, much to my own surprise
In other news, I've decided to learn Russian, just for fun... I've dyed my hair red again, and I've been REALLY into a genre of music lately called Retrowave. It's like 80's action movie music, and I don't know why I'm so fucking into it. Much of it sounds the same. Synthesizers, driving beats, chilly ambiance, not many (if any) lyrics... but it just feels so righteous, and ...sexy? I dunno. It resonates with me for whatever reason.
Ehhhhh, I think that's about it for now, I suppose. Drinking all this water and tea (which I no longer put any sugar in- I cut out all sugar from my tea cold turkey!) is making me pee like I've never fucking peed before. It's especially irritating when I'm trying to fall asleep.
I guess I'll probably update in another few weeks or so, I dunno. I'd like to update more than that, to record progress that the numbers don't show, but we'll see. Peace out!
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