...is something I've never really had. Since I've literally known starvation, my attitude towards food most of my adult life has been EAT IT QUICK! When you've got it, stock up! Eat until you're full to bursting! Ridiculous, I know.
So today, my fella was home sick, and when I announced I was going out to stock up on green tea, he asked if I could bring home ice cream for him. I don't remember how cheese puffs entered the conversation, but at first I was like UH UH. Not bringing that into the house- I'll fucking eat them! But then, I thought to myself sternly, it's time you learned to fucking control yourself around food instead of acting like a rabid fucking animal.
I went to the store, and I got him a big ol' bag of cheese puffs and mango ice cream. Knowing that I would be sorely tempted, and that I had only consumed black coffee, two carrots, and a dill pickle spear up until that point, I thought to get myself a healthy, small snack. HAHAHA SURPRISE, THERE WERE NONE. Forsooth, 'twas a veritable wasteland of fat and calories everywhere, and knowing that we were having steak for dinner tonight, I sullenly and miserably decided on NOTHING, knowing that carrots and pickles awaited me at home.
The hanger that I experienced threatened to spiral out of control, but I breathed in and out, and locked myself in the back room with some iced black coffee and water, and dove head first back into the skirt I've been knitting. I was extremely successful- not a morsel of either cheese puffs nor ice cream passed my lips! Of course, I did have to run out and get chewing gum- but discovered that Rite Aid was having a sale, so I got 6 packs for $5.
HOLY SHIT I INTERRUPT THIS BLOG TO TELL YOU THAT AS OF RIGHT NOW, I AM OFFICIALLY 179.6 POUNDS :-D
FIRST GOAL WEIGHT ACHIEVED!!!!!!!!!!!
Wow, did not expect that to happen tonight. Damn. Daaaammmmn. YEAH GIRL.
Also, I would like to mention that yesterday was quite the ego day for me. I went out to busk (played violin in the subway for a few hours) and three guys took my picture, one of whom blew me a kiss. One woman (absolutely gorgeous, I might add) asked if I frequented the station often, and told me I was beautiful. And then, when out grocery shopping, our cashier told me I looked "AMAZING!" (Her emphasis, not mine.)
Thanks for the encouragement, world! <3
So today, my fella was home sick, and when I announced I was going out to stock up on green tea, he asked if I could bring home ice cream for him. I don't remember how cheese puffs entered the conversation, but at first I was like UH UH. Not bringing that into the house- I'll fucking eat them! But then, I thought to myself sternly, it's time you learned to fucking control yourself around food instead of acting like a rabid fucking animal.
I went to the store, and I got him a big ol' bag of cheese puffs and mango ice cream. Knowing that I would be sorely tempted, and that I had only consumed black coffee, two carrots, and a dill pickle spear up until that point, I thought to get myself a healthy, small snack. HAHAHA SURPRISE, THERE WERE NONE. Forsooth, 'twas a veritable wasteland of fat and calories everywhere, and knowing that we were having steak for dinner tonight, I sullenly and miserably decided on NOTHING, knowing that carrots and pickles awaited me at home.
The hanger that I experienced threatened to spiral out of control, but I breathed in and out, and locked myself in the back room with some iced black coffee and water, and dove head first back into the skirt I've been knitting. I was extremely successful- not a morsel of either cheese puffs nor ice cream passed my lips! Of course, I did have to run out and get chewing gum- but discovered that Rite Aid was having a sale, so I got 6 packs for $5.
HOLY SHIT I INTERRUPT THIS BLOG TO TELL YOU THAT AS OF RIGHT NOW, I AM OFFICIALLY 179.6 POUNDS :-D
FIRST GOAL WEIGHT ACHIEVED!!!!!!!!!!!
Wow, did not expect that to happen tonight. Damn. Daaaammmmn. YEAH GIRL.
Also, I would like to mention that yesterday was quite the ego day for me. I went out to busk (played violin in the subway for a few hours) and three guys took my picture, one of whom blew me a kiss. One woman (absolutely gorgeous, I might add) asked if I frequented the station often, and told me I was beautiful. And then, when out grocery shopping, our cashier told me I looked "AMAZING!" (Her emphasis, not mine.)
Thanks for the encouragement, world! <3
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