Gray.

I'm so fucking tired right now I can't think of a better title, but it sums up what I've been going through over the past week and a half.

That thing that happened in Paris? Yeah. Completely derailed me. Normally I am not overly affected by such atrocities, as it is human nature for some to destroy. We will never have world peace- even if we could identify every violent psycho/sociopath in the world and eliminate them, millions more are born every day. That's why the best way to work towards peace is to prepare for war. Paris, not being a third world shithole, should never have been subjected to those atrocities. The French government failed not only its own citizens, but the international tourists as well.

Anyhow, the shock of the attack affected me really, really deeply. Only now am I starting to pull myself back together and re-focus myself. I've mentioned before that my creative urges are at their strongest in the face of misery and darkness, and I think it's because I feel the need to create tangible beauty to combat whatever forces of evil have been lurking. So I've had MAJOR castonitis for the last week and a half, but I've made some great stuff. A pair of gray and black striped knee highs, a pair of socks with my first ever afterthought heels, a beautiful hat which is now up in my shop, and another pair of socks that I cast on tonight. I just finished dyeing a whole batch of sock yarn too- well, mostly over dyeing. Only one skein was white. One I had previously dyed and wasn't satisfied with, and the rest just looked like they'd appreciate makeovers. So now they're all gorgeous and lovely and drying, and... I REALLY need to get into Christmas knitting and baby knitting. Holy shitttt. Not gonna panic, just gotta really buckle down and get started. I've got time.

But I really just wanna knit a whole bunch of socks :-(

Knittin' Like a Sock Star!

Awww yeeeahhh, who learned how to knit toe up, 2 at a time socks on magic loop? With a new to me heel? THIS BITCH.

Never mind the fact that I've only ever knit top down, one at a time socks on dpns, with heel flaps and picking up stitches and that whole shebang. And that I haven't knit socks in years. Nope, I went whole hog into this. I'm currently just past the heels (short row heels) now and I'm gonna knit until I run out of yarn. I LOVE magic loop. This is so fucking cool! And... the yarn I'm using fucking sparkles. I'm all about them twinkle toes. I can't wait to wear them!

I'm getting ready to film episode two of the podcast on Friday. Gotta gather my subjects together, and my show and tell stuff, and re-paint my nails. I don't want to brag or anything, but um, I've already made $.06 on YouTube. But I promise, even if I shoot into the stratosphere and make a whole dollar, that I will remain humble. I won't forget my roots ;-)

Ok, this was a short update. I'm gonna knit a little more and then head to bed. I've got to head out to the post office tomorrow to ship out another order. I really need to look into buying packaging online, paying $1.99 for a cardboard box is pretty stupid. Especially when their boxes are always too big anyway. Peace out!

I Need Caffeine & I Need It NOW!

Goddamn, I've got a mighty powerful, foggy as fuck headache looming. I let work take priority over food today, and now that I've "eaten", it's too late. My body is holding a grudge.

Anyhow, I got a FUCK TON of stuff done, and I'm really proud. Podcast got completed, and took FOREVER to finally get up, but it has a sweet intro and outro and I've earned myself 9 subscribers already! I finished all of the yarn from the last batch, photographed it, and listed it, except for one skein that is still drying and HOLY SHIT THAT ONE SKEIN IN THE SODA ASH, oh dear. I better re dye that one tonight. Oops. This is the third time I'm dyeing it- that yarn really didn't take dye well at all.

I'm currently designing a squishy cowl pattern to go with the squishy neon yarn I can't sell, and it's an absolute delight to work with. The colors, the texture... it's fucking fabulous yarn. \

ok, enough of this headache. I need to go address this now. Later!

The Countdown Begins, Eeeeeee!!!!!!!!!

Alright, I've gotten a LOT done this week, including stuff that wasn't on my to-do list because I didn't realize it HAD to be on my to-do list. I even managed to get to the store(s- had to go to three to get all ingredients) and make dinner tonight. I attempted to attend a live webinar on improving one's Etsy sales, but I'll be watching the replay in a bit because we had major internet issues.

I re-created an intro, uploaded 6 videos to my channel so far, monetized said channel, created an AdSense account (still have no idea what the fuck that's for, but one step at a time here. I'll get it eventually), created a cute little trailer for my channel with the help of Groucho, figured out how to get around the mirror image problem on my webcam (thanks, MovieMaker!), have gotten much more experienced with MovieMaker, and I'm confident that tomorrow's filming will be just fine. Aside from my own insecurity about my looks, that is :-P I feel like my mouth looks really weird when I talk. And I'm prone to a double chin. Not to mention those lovely yellow teeth from years of being a smoker! But, hey, it's the content that counts... mostly. I will still aim to be as aesthetically pleasing as I can be, for my own sake.

I am now back on the fence about WordPress. I know now that Blogger is compatible with AdSense, and if I'd like to link the two in the future, I'll need to keep that around. I don't need my own website yet, which is why I had originally thought about switching- I was planning ahead. I think I'll sit tight for a while though.

All I have left to do is set up Free Pattern Friday (which means I'll have to take pictures of the shawl I plan to share, and write up the super easy and quick pattern. I'll have to link it to the pattern that inspired it though, I think) and get together a topic list, in order, as well as gather everything I'll be showing off. And... I need to repaint my nails. Fortunately, I have a manicure in mind- my package from my friend arrived today, and she was MORE than generous, sweet fuck! I am all set for makeup and nails for quite a while. Well, I've been set for nails for a long time now anyway, but now I'm set even more!

So, for ease of reading in the near future when I come back to check shit off:

-Free Pattern Friday
-Topic List/Show and Tell Items
-Manicure

...and I'll be all set! Woo! I can always film before I do Free Pattern Friday. I'd like to get good daylight happening for this, so I'll have to get up a bit earlier than I usually do.

Aw crap, I forgot I have tea steeping. Dang it, I hope it's not too bitter. It's really delicious, a new Celestial Seasonings blend- Watermelon Lime Zinger. Fucking BADASSS.

Ok, off I go to rescue tea and stuff. Bye!

Ha!

Remember that time I was all like, "I'm not gonna forget the caveat in my intro graphics!"

Yeah, that was a good time.

But! I do have both intro and outro finished. And I'm sure I can just edit the intro.

Then again, I was ALSO sure I could just add my animated cat gif into the intro, and that did not work out AT ALL. When trying to figure out how to make it work, seemed to reach a dead end. Eventually, I will get that sucker in there. But, for all intents and purposes as of right now, both are done, minus the warning. I'm especially proud of the outro... it includes a cute little four line poem that incorporates the phrase, "on fleek." WHO'S GANGSTA NOW?!

...I think I was gonna say something else, and I forget. You see, there's a FUCKING MOSQUITO HERE. IN MY LIVING ROOM. AT 3:51 AM ON NOVEMBER 4TH, 20FUCKING15.

'scuse me, I've got murder to commit now. 

Today Has Been GREAT So Far!!!

...and I've only been up for about 4 and a half hours. I woke up to the news that a friend of mine is sending me some of her long haired cats fur to spin (she has FOUR!) along with some goodies, AND I won a contest on another friend's facebook page- I won a perfume called SexyPants. I'm so excited!!!

I made some great progress so far on my To Do list as well:

-Download Windows Movie Maker, maker that movie program my bitch. 
Downloaded, and practiced on a video of Groucho. Basic edits, but fun!

- Make a final decision on intro and outro music for podcast.
I shall be starting with Cool Vibes, which I'll cut around the :23 mark, and ending with Sweeter Vermouth, which doesn't need cutting as it's 24 seconds in its entirety. All music is from Incompetech. They've got a GREAT selection, and really amusing captions on some of the blurbs. 

- Figure out how to best position laptop for maximum flattering angleage. I don't wanna be showing off my impressive double chin for an hour, people might feel inadequate.
Alllll those books out there in the living room, they have suddenly found uses. 

- Remember to include warning in intro graphics- this is not a podcast to listen to with impressionable kids around. I'm not going to fucking censor myself, sorry not sorry. 
- Amending this to "create intro and outro in the first place", I won't forget the caveat :-P

-Gather list of topics to discuss, and in order, for first podcast. Also gather list of yarns, WIPs, etc to be discussed. These are the physical things I'll be showing off.

- Decide what I'm doing for Free Pattern Friday- I've decided that the first Friday of every month will be Free Pattern Friday. I've got about three lined up, just have to decide which is which.
Decision made, just need to start and finish :-P Of course, if finishing doesn't happen, I have an already made item to show off. 

- Sniff around WordPress, set up WordPress. Move blog stuff over to WordPress, change Ravelry link for Vermeer bracelet.

- Finish knitting needed for Free Pattern Friday, if any.

I'm in pretty good shape, I'd say. Gonna get intro and outro done tonight, as well as over dye some more yarn. Still waiting for some of the cotton to dry. But I did list some Unicorn Farts! Such cool yarn, so goddamn squishy!

UNICORN FARTS!!!

I AM A FUCKING ROCKSTARRRRR!!!!!!!!!!

I learned how to animate my logo!!!

I did it all in Photoshop. It was surprisingly easy and fast- well, fast because it consists of three frames, two colors, and one frame is a repeat. I am so fucking PROUD of myself right now! This is a bit of a hurdle cleared on the road to Successful Podcast Friday. I'm going to use it somehow in the intro. And, fortunately, I just had the foresight to save it without the background too, so it'll be more versatile.

Ok, SO!
To Do list:

- Download Windows Movie Maker, maker that movie program my bitch.

- Make a final decision on intro and outro music for podcast.

- Figure out how to best position laptop for maximum flattering angleage. I don't wanna be showing off my impressive double chin for an hour, people might feel inadequate.

- Remember to include warning in intro graphics- this is not a podcast to listen to with impressionable kids around. I'm not going to fucking censor myself, sorry not sorry.

-Gather list of topics to discuss, and in order, for first podcast. Also gather list of yarns, WIPs, etc to be discussed. These are the physical things I'll be showing off.

- Decide what I'm doing for Free Pattern Friday- I've decided that the first Friday of every month will be Free Pattern Friday. I've got about three lined up, just have to decide which is which.

- Sniff around WordPress, set up WordPress. Move blog stuff over to WordPress, change Ravelry link for Vermeer bracelet.

- Finish knitting needed for Free Pattern Friday, if any.

- Might wanna practice makeup. I'm pretty good (meaning I'm a pro at eye makeup, and I don't wear much else) but maybe look at self on camera and evaluate if something needs to change. It's not that I'm aiming to be Miss America, but I would like to present myself in a certain way to potential viewers. I don't go out shopping without changing into non pajamas and brushing my hair, why should meeting strangers on the internet be any different?

Annnnnd I think that's all. I'll come back to this tomorrow night to see what I've gotten done, and to add to it if need be.

I'M. SO. EXCITED.

Did I mention I'm really fucking proud of myself? Hang on a minute, I wanna talk about it. I am one woman. And I am wearing a LOT of different hats right now, for this fledgling business. I am the supply buyer, the product producer, the social media marketer on 4- soon to be 5- platforms, the promoter, the shipping and handling wench, the graphic designer (now with animation!), the podcast director and producer, and the creative direction. I am EIGHT PEOPLE in one. The decision to make this a success came with the realization that I needed to expand my knowledge and my skill set tremendously. Are things happening overnight? Fuck no. Can I see myself grinning about a much larger bank account balance a year from now? Fuck yes. I'm in this for the long haul. I'm not giving up. With each foot hold I find, and each step up I climb, I'm getting out of the hole I dug myself into. I am smart, I am capable, and I am strong. And I will always find a way. 

One of THOSE Days...

...sweet fuck a doodle doo, today was one of THOSE days.

I get out of bed, pee, and feed the cats like I always do. Nothing unusual there, until Lulu decides to go on top of the cabinets... AND PUKES. ON TOP. OF. THE CABINETS. Where I cannot reach unless I climb on top of the fridge, which was just not on my to do list. (And probably won't be, ever.) I wound up putting a very sturdy styrofoam box on top of the arm chair next to the fridge, and used my wooden practice katana (I'm not sure why I still have it either), after wrapping it in paper towels and taping them at the base, to literally wipe/pull the puke pile towards me, so I could reach it and clean it up.

Okay, after that I deserve a fucking smoothie, right? Knowing that my fella accidentally got me coffee flavored kefir at the store, I decide to go whole hog with it, and brew coffee to mix in with a tiny bit of cream and sugar, as well as some ice.

I can honestly say that was the NASTIEST FUCKING SHIT I have EVER PUT IN MY MOUTH. One mouthful, and it didn't even get the opportunity to hit my gag reflex. Spewed it out into the sink, and the entire contents of the blender soon followed.

Fortunately, I still had some coffee left, so I drank it, somewhat ruefully. I finished putting together a yarn order, wrote a letter to my sister, packed everything up, and got ready to leave. Realizing it was absolutely pouring out, I put my hoodie on, wrapped both letter and box in a plastic bag, and headed out. Blessedly, this process was uneventful, though soggy.

Upon exiting the post office, I decided to stop across the street at the market to get some more fruits and veggies and UNFLAVORED kefir. By this time, it's not just pouring... it is raining goddamn oceans. I mean, fucking BUCKETS are just coming down non stop. So I get what I need, totally scoring a whole bunch of awesome produce and kefir for a measly $12.81, and start home in the pouring rain. By the time my three heavy bags and I get home, my cotton hoodie weighs approximately 3495356456 pounds and my jeans at least half that. (Both are still soaking wet, and it's been 12 hours now.)

While putting everything away except for the stuff going right into my smoothie, I realize the right hand bulb in the range hood over the stove has burnt out. OF COURSE. So I decide to switch sides with the remaining good bulb, so that I can have more light to wash dishes by. I wrapped a paper towel around the bulb because it was still hot, and while trying to match the end of the bulb into the socket... THE BULB DISAPPEARS INTO THE RANGE HOOD. This was not a thing I had considered at all. At this point, I cracked up laughing, nearly burst out crying, and just flat out WAILED my feelings on the matter to the world at large. I did not even know it was possible to lose a bulb in there like that. I did manage to get it out though, burning myself slightly in the process, and got it properly screwed into the socket. Unfuckingbelievable.

At that point, I was done with today. So done. Apparently, I wasn't the only one having a day, though- it seems everyone around me did, too. I've since decided to just declare it a learning day- I learned a new use for a wooden katana, learned coffee kefir tastes like Satan's rancid shitbox, learned that one should be careful when replacing bulbs on a range hood, and subsequently, though not previously mentioned, learned that you should PROBABLY peel kiwis before putting them in a blender, as drinking them otherwise afterwards will irritate your lips considerably.

I did manage to finish plying some lovely beaded yarn tonight though, and also spun two small skeins of real hand spun, not recycled yarn. The day, therefore, was not totally lost.

I'm gonna go to bed now, and cross my fingers that tomorrow is not a repeat of today. Uh uh uhhhh. 

Weight Loss Update

I'm down 10 pounds already, WOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!! This whole "drink a bunch of fruits, nuts, veggies and kefir" thing is working out pretty damn well. I mean, that's ALL I have until dinner, and I'm not generally hungry. Staying busy and active really helps too, to distract me from food. And, not to get all TMI, but I'm greatly amused at the change in my doody. (Yes, I'm 5, shut up.) It's mostly very fluffy and loose, and not only that, my heartburn issues are still gone. Right this minute, I'm enjoying a big ol' mug of blueberry tea with lemon juice in it, and I'm not suffering painful burps or acid reflux. I REALLY LOVE having lemon juice in my tea, so this is super!

What I'm REALLY proud of, is that I came up with this all on my own, based on what my body told me it wanted. It's good to listen to what your body needs sometimes. (Of course, using common sense and intellect is a must. My body also tells me it wants to eat 4984950 pounds of sushi every fucking day, but even if my budget allowed, I'd know that is not a great idea.) I didn't even ask my fella, who is an expert on all things nutritional and fitness related, because I knew he'd pooh pooh the idea as some stupid diet fad or whatever. I went ahead and did it, no approval or validation needed, just let my body tell me what it really wanted for once, as opposed to me trying to impose what I've been told it needs to lose weight. All those really delicious looking healthy recipes and food photos I see on the fitspiration sites? Yeah, I tried those, and they don't work for me. I need a serious calorie reduction without it feeling like a serious calorie reduction. Smoothies are still fun and tasty and exciting to me. And, bonus, my fella is actually getting into them too... despite the fact that I make them without the cream and sugar that he prefers.

Ok, off to sleep now. Past my bedtime, but I was working on my Park Ave cardigan (free Ravelry pattern!) and wanted to get up to the part where I put the sleeves on scrap yarn. Also had major catching up to do with Law & Order SVU. Still not caught up, but WHEW the first episode of this season was a DOOOOZY! I had to actually force myself to watch it though, because I'm still on business mode 24/7 and wanted to keep digging into the world of content marketing. Sundays, though, I've decided are my day OFF from all things work related. I broke that rule all day long, but I figured I had to draw the line at SOME point. Maybe I'll have cool dreams again tonight. Last night, the Pope bought Czechoslovakia (I know, it no longer exists, but it did in my dream!) and I found out through an old friend who was channeling a spirit or something, I dunno. And then she read a message from the fairies in the freckles on the back of my arm, and we had to run somewhere. There was rain. and many strange diners in trailers involved. And we had to be wherever we were going at 8:04 pm. Yeeeeahhhh. Ok bye!

Shop Update & Stuff

Well, to keep up with the shop stuff, you can go here, as I'm updating regularly now. And there will be more free patterns.

When I went into Manhattan the other day, I decided to skip Michael's and confined my trip to Dick Blick on Bond St, to get soda ash and urea, and then I walked up to 23rd to Goodwill pick up some sweaters for transforming purposes. I've decided to no longer get the majority of my dyeing supplies from Dharma unless I need to, as the shipping costs are way more expensive than round trip subway fare. Plus, it's instant gratification.

I don't know if I mentioned it the other day, but I've started to make smoothies for myself every day when I wake up. All kinds of fruit and veggies with whatever strikes my fancy, often with kefir. The marvelous thing is that my heartburn issues have suddenly mostly disappeared! I don't know if it's the kefir or that drinking food is easier on my completely fucked up digestive system, but whatever it is, I'm grateful for it. Hopefully it'll mean easier weight loss too... which reminds me, I need to ask my fella how accurate his weights are. The ones I lift should be 7.5 pounds, yet they register at 8.6 on my scale... which could mean I'm 1.1 pounds lighter than I think. I would not complain about the latter, juuuuust sayin'.

I'm still exhausting myself every day by doing what I love. Best feeling ever at the end of every day. I don't have any problems getting to sleep, and I love waking up each morning. (Morning being a relative term, as I'm naturally somewhat nocturnal. I usually wake between 11 am-1pm.) I'm devouring information on business strategies, learning what foreign sounding terms and acronyms mean in both definition and practice, and whether they're something that works in the context of an Etsy shop or if they're something that's best applied to an independent website. I'm bursting with creative ideas for both marketing strategies and patterns to offer. Still working on time management though. There's always a space and a lag between one thing to another. I get lost looking at facebook, or digging through my iTunes, or even purposefully procrastinating if I know I'm going to have to get clothes on to go somewhere. And... despite learning tons of valuable information, I have yet to truly apply any of it. I've got to make time for that this weekend, but not now. My brain is slowly fading and it's totally bedtime soon.

Here's hoping that tomorrow, the scale reveals a smaller number, and my bank account a larger one!

If At First You Don't Succeed...

...and you don't succeed the next time, but you REALLY WANT something, you have to stick with it and stuff.

I REALLY want to lose the extra pounds. So this time I'm REALLY sticking with the weight lifting, even though I lost all the progress I made last time, I'm changing my eating habits, and I'm being more active in general. This is as of three days ago, so results have yet to be seen. But! I've decided to reward myself with each ten pounds lost by plying up a skein of this lovely rainbow and black cotton tape yarn I've dyed- it was originally the ugliest shade of off white you could ever imagine, and I had an entire brand new cone of it! It's wayyy too thin to knit garments with by hand, as it would take forever- so I decided to chain ply it.

The chain ply looks a little sloppy in the last picture because it was, but a good soaking and thwacking evened it out very nicely, and it's currently drying. So this skein marks the start of the journey- ten pounds lost, and I'll do another. By the time all six are done, it will mean that I'm down to my goal weight of 130 or so. And, given that I'll have about 3000 yards of this by the time I'm done, perhaps I'll even knit myself a goddamn dress!

As far as my business is going, things are really wonderful. My repeat customer can't seem to get enough of my cotton yarns, and I've picked up two other strangers along the way, one of whom left me a GLOWING review, and the other is getting her package shipped out tomorrow. I've got some supply buying to do, as I'm almost out of soda ash and I'm completely out of urea, which means no cotton dyeing for a while. I haven't had time yet to fully implement the strategies I learned about and took such careful notes on- but I'll get to it soon. Time management is something I need to get better about. I've been so busy making yarn that I've been neglecting social media and blogging again. My goal is to post on the business page a minimum of  2x a day... and I've been barely doing that in a week! Instagram is something I hardly look at anymore, and while I did manage to get a re-pin on Pinterest, I've been neglecting that hardcore too. I've really got to set aside about 2 hours a day for this stuff. While I'm incredibly grateful to have one loyal customer, I need to get my yarn out there more because I know my yarn is flippin' awesome and I could have MANY more loyal customers, if I could just get them to know I exist. I'm really interested in learning about SEO and algorithms and all that jazz. Although sometimes I feel a little pessimistic because my yarn is such a niche item, I know that in time, if I persevere, I will be really, really successful. My yarn is too sweet to fail.

I've been making it a habit lately to pay extra attention to the things I'm grateful for. Random things during the day that I appreciate- a Van Morrison song, petting my cats, cooler weather, food, etc- I take time to really enjoy and be thankful for. There is absolutely no fucking reason to whine and complain and make problems where there are none. Why be miserable when you can be happy? Why let other people's behavior affect who you are? I am working on learning to respond, rather than to react, when I need to respond at all. Ok, sure, so going to the store down the street today and witnessing some absolutely rude, oblivious shit going on around me made me a bit homicidal, but I'm still wrestling with letting stuff like that affect me. It's just that it seems like SUCH BASIC STUFF that people should know- like moving aside when someone says "Excuse me," or not letting your toddler scream at feral cats and scare them off, or if you're a cashier, responding when someone says HELLO and THANK YOU. My solution to this at the moment is the same as it's ever been, which is to not go out during the day at all when I can help it. Anything I need to buy in the neighborhood, I can usually get 24 hours a day. Unfortunately, tomorrow I NEED to go into Manhattan to buy more sweaters and stitch marker supplies. I'll steel myself for it. It'll probably be good for me anyway, to get out a little. I'm reaching real hermit status these days, unless going to the post office a few times a week to ship out orders counts.

Oh! I don't know why that reminds me, but it does- I've decided to just stop dyeing my hair altogether. I had originally thought I might just dye it in increasingly lighter shades of brown, until I got back to blonde, but ain't nobody got time for that. I just plain don't even care that much about how my blonde roots are going to look growing out (they're already at a questionable point right now) and it's hat season anyway. I've got a ton of really cute hats I've knit that I never wear. Now is as good a time as any, I guess!

Annnddd... that's it, that's all I can type. I am so goddamn tired right now. It's so satisfying though, being able to end each day knowing that I exhausted myself because I was doing work that I love and I'm stark raving passionate about. I feel like I'm doing exactly what I need to be doing, and it's exactly what I want to be doing, and it's only getting better every day. Thank you to the universe, to the all, to my higher self, to divinity external and internal. I recognize and accept the blessings already received and yet to come, and I will continue to strive upward each and every day.

Metaphysical Explorations, and Better Business...

Well, I apparently didn't mention it in my last post- I guess it happened after I posted- but I got my first stranger sale! As in, a stranger bought my yarn. And then... this past weekend... the same lady bought TWO MORE SKEINS! I was positively giddy, but at the same time I really need to get my product out to more people. I know it's good, she knows it's good... other people need to know it's good. I'm finding more places to promote, which is important, and more potential customers.

As far as metaphysical stuff goes, I've been exploring the Law of Attraction lately, and it's already making a huge difference in how I've been feeling towards my shop and my business. I'm going to re-open Magick Cat Knits, and sell non recycled yarn items that I've made there. I'm going to be selling recycled yarn items that I've knit in MCSS. I'm definitely a lot more motivated and inspired, and it's showing. I FINALLY updated my shop blog. I feel much more creative, and that's incredibly important. I'm even putting together a book! (It's a commentary on society.) The most important thing here though, is not to give up. I know a business isn't built, and results don't always show themselves, overnight. I've always been a bit of a late bloomer with certain things, and this seems to be one of them. I tend to learn from experience, which means there's usually a lot of trial and error involved. But I'm more than willing to learn!

I mean, I just baked my first ever fucking PIE this past weekend, and it was AWESOME.

I know, that was a total non sequitur. But... it was a really good cherry pie. I made everything from scratch. No canned filling or pie crust mix for me! It was made in a celebration of the cooler weather. I really love Autumn.

OK, I've got a bunch of knitting and plotting and what not to do, so I'm signing off. Later!

Liber-Tina

I'm out, I'm out and I never ever have to go back to Harlem, woo!

I totally overdid it physically though, between hauling out the rest of the garbage, and cleaning and hauling shit back to Queens in a really short window of time. And then I overdid it again the next day, going overboard with ingredients for pasta salad and carrying heavy bags all the way back to my place, but it was worth it. So fucking worth it.

I'm half scared and half curious about my coffee date with Marian this Sunday. Assuming she shows up... I don't know how much of what goes on in her head is real, and whether she'll remember she even met me, let alone made plans with me.

In knitting news, I've started something called a Ten Stitch Zig Zag blanket, to use up all my acrylic scrap yarn. You can find it here. I've decided to make it queen size to fit our bed. GOOD FREAKIN' LAWD it's a special kind of masochism, but I really like it for some reason, and it's really addictive, and I can't stop working on it. I have baby shit to knit for my anam cara, whose baby shower is less than a month away, and instead I'm all like "just one more zig zag..." It's especially fun to work on while watching kooky conspiracy theory documentaries. I love them! Everything from Vatican secrets to David Icke and his lizard people.

... and I'm utterly exhausted now. Gonna sleep for as long as I can, now that the weather is cooler. As soon as it gets down to 50 degrees, I'm gonna bake a fucking pie in celebration. I don't know what kind, and I've never baked a fucking pie before, but I'm gonna fucking do it. The end.

The Wheel In The Sky Keeps On Turnin'...

...but I know where I'll be tomorrow, and that's FINALLY moved out of Harlem! Woo!

The last two days have been really weird people-wise, though. If I didn't know better, I'd think it was a full moon. Yesterday (Sunday) I made a new friend, much against my will, at the Dunkin' Donuts by the L train at Myrtle Wyckoff. She's an elderly woman named Marian, and I suspect she has dementia. She told me she had dinner with Obama 4 times this year, and that she's the VP of a bank, and her boyfriend owns the NYU hospital. We have a coffee date next Sunday at 4. I'm vaguely terrified that she'll actually show up.

Today, on my way back to Queens from Harlem, I hadn't made it down my block when some guy wanted to see my bind rune tattoo. I don't mind jawing about my ink, but I had told my fella I was on my way so I was itching to get on the train, and looking forward to dinner. But, in the immortal words of my friend Justine (more on her in a bit), "Who truly IS master of their own destiny, anyway." I wound up talking to this guy (and by talking, I mean trying to translate from Idiotese to English, when I wasn't stuck listing to a clip from The Advocate) about the occult for about a half hour, maybe more. He said he "recognized the darkness" in me blah blah blah and I could call him Bal (he spelled it out, I'm guessing he meant Baal. He's not playing with a full string o' lights, ifyouknowwhatImean) but his name is Quincy, and he wants to talk about spooky stuff down by the river blah blah ARRRGHHHH! Have I got a mark on my head lately that says "hey you clearly mentally unstable person! Please, come gush your verbal diarrhea ALL OVER ME!!!!!!"?

But, onto more pleasant things. A few weeks ago, I went to visit my friend Justine in west NJ. So far west, in fact, that NJ transit doesn't even run that far on weekends, and she had to drive me across the river to PA so I could take a bus back to NYC Saturday night. We had been facebook friends a few years prior, bonding over our love of cats and knitting and the occult, and makeup and food and... yeah, we have a few common interests. But then she disappeared from facebook for a few years, and though I completely lost touch with her because of it, I didn't delete her profile in the hopes she'd come back. And she DID! This past December, she magically reappeared, and we became closer than ever. We are solid friends now, I feel a bond with her almost as strong as the bond I have with my soul sister. We are definitely kindred spirits. We had a lovely visit, and I especially enjoyed her cats. I was told the younger, feral one would probably hide the whole time I was there... but instead, she let me pet her from the moment I walked through the door! I hadn't even busted out the hand knit cat toys I made, or the treats I bought.

A cloud hung over my visit though, and it was a heavy one- shortly before I arrived at the station where she was picking me up, I learned that a friend had suddenly died. 38 years old, had a heart attack out of the blue. His name was Shane, and he was a fixture in our circle of friends, being both a bartender and a bass player in a local band. I had to keep pushing it to the back of my head, because I didn't have time to process it. It felt especially terrible knowing that my friends and fella were all hurting, and I was all the way on the other side of Jersey. I had a really nice dream about him not long after though, and while I don't remember it, I did wake up feeling like I had closure, so that was nice.

I'm super duper exhausted now. It's definitely bed time. Tomorrow is the LAST DAY I'll be chained to that apartment, and I look forward to being able to focus more on my work without worrying constantly about paying rent in a place I don't even fucking live in anymore, haha. Hooray!

Whew!

Pattern update: While it was running for free, in three days, 2,367 people took advantage of it.

And THEN a few people actually bought it, for money! There may be something to this designer thing ;-) I'm addicted, and I have no less than three patterns bouncing around my head to knit now. They all involve beads, because I love beads. And linen stitch, because whether it's a passing phase or not, I'm obsessed.

It's 2:36 am and RealFeel is currently 90 degrees still. Summer, you can go suck a fuck. I probably would hate it a lot less if I lived in a building with air conditioning, but I don't so... yeah. Ugh. Some day I will, and it'll be 60 degrees and I won't leave ever unless I have to. Or I could just move to Scotland.

Yeah, that sounds nice. In the mean time, I've got a decent fan, some hibiscus iced tea (lowers blood pressure and thus body temp), and a tuh-hunnnnn of knitting to do, so bye!

EEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

:-D

:-D

I uploaded my first shawl pattern to Ravelry today (Blaze of Glory), free through the weekend to celebrate my birthday (which begins in 30 minutes).

It's already been downloaded 1069 times!

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE :-D

that is all :-D

SHE'S HEEERRREEEE :-D

I'm too lazy to upload pictures at the moment, but my new spinning wheel is here! She's all put together and adjusted to my liking. She's SO FAST. Maybe it's the fact that she's a double treadle, and I don't know how to go slow yet, but I like it. Boy oh boy, are we gonna have fun together!

Spent a bunch of money on Lurex tonight from a store in England, to add to my yarns. (One cone is GLOW IN THE MUHFUCKIN DARK. Is it can be Halloween tiem yet?!) Still gotta make the Etsy banner, a Pinterest, a Twitter, and a new Rav account, but I'm all tuckered out after putting Jane together (of course my second wheel has a name too, I'm not playing favorites here!) and playing with her. (Plied yarn I had spun on Borghildr on her.) Oh, also, I scored a Canon Powershot in perfect working condition on eBay last night for $25!!!!!!! Includes the SD card and case and free shipping. Fuck yeah eBay!

My dye order should be in on Thursday, and by then I should have my ten sweaters, at least some of which will be skeined and ready to dye immediately. (I have a good amount of yarn waiting already from sweaters I bought last summer. And RIT dye, ugh. I've got tons of RIT.) I decided to start off with buying ten sweaters, as I think that'll give me a good first batch of skeins. I can't wait to see what I find!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH :-D

Dye Dye, Dye My Darling

Dyes have been purchased, after much more thorough research and thought. Realized I wouldn't need most of the light colors, as they wouldn't be useful on the majority of the sweaters I unravel. Also realized I needed two sets of dyes, as the fiber reactive dyes aren't so good on protein fibers. Bought 50 plastic squeeze bottles as well, so each color can have it's own bottle. (there's a nerd deep inside me that's really excited about labeling those fucking bottles, uggghh)

Went shopping at Jack's 99 Cent today to get more dyeing supplies, and came home with a vinyl tablecloth, measuring spoons/cups, plastic salad tongs to hold yarn (really nice clear blue ones, for .99!), and- not for dyeing, but convenient- an adjustable window screen for the back room, so the window can stay open wide without fear of losing a cat. Might go back and get another one for the window on the other end of the apartment. Perhaps this summer will be less nightmareish in regards to heat, with more opportunity for cross breezes!

Also wound up with two new flavors of tea, Moroccan Mint and Mojito Mint. Yeah, I've already sampled both and they're deliiiiicciiiouussss.

Gonna go to bed now, can't possibly do any more work tonight- but I got the logo finalized. Tomorrow I'll take care of the business cards.

#fuckyes

IT'S REALLY REAL!!!!!!!!!

Money has been wired to me, wheel has been purchased (along with lazy kate). Gotta review my dye list, and get that taken care of. Taking a quick break right now from sweater unraveling. I'm timing myself to see how long the entire process from unraveling to plying takes, so I know exactly what I'm paying myself for work done.


AM I FUCKING EXCITED, YES I AM :-D

Straight Up Whirlwind

= strange dreams and tummy troubles, ugh. I dreamed about jumping spiders and dripping lights and old milk, and a painting of Vikings by a forest, and talking about an omelet I was going to make. OK then!

Well, new email is done, base graphic for logo is done, fonts selected, Instagram created, blog created. As far as social media, that still leaves:

Pinterest
Twitter
Facebook
Ravelry (will have to have a "yarnie" account)

I will eventually want to do things in addition to making yarn, so note to self that somewhere down the line you'll be looking at making tutorials, maybe writing a book, maybe teaching classes (if not live, then Craftsy?). There might be YouTube videos.

In the mean time, I'm still fighting good ol' NYS Dept of Taxation because they say I owe them money, and I don't... and I've been struggling with really bad insomnia the last few nights (not to mention still hocking up wads of phlegm!), and I'm racked with wicked anxiety about everything. What if my partner suddenly pulls out, what if it's a total failure, etc etc etc. I generally don't give in to stressing about "what if" situations past the point of mentally preparing an initial solution in case of the what if, but this is a lot riding on the line for me, and it's not just me- it's the fact that someone else is investing in me here and I'm scared that I'm not going to be good enough. I think part of me is scared that I'm gonna get burned out on it too, after a month or something. Plus, it's knowing that it's going to be a full time, constant obligation, no matter how much I love doing it. I'm handling EVERYTHING about it, except for a few business aspects. Things above and beyond the yarn creation- keeping track of receipts and business expenses, all graphic design, shipping and handling, customer service, etc. Just digging in the last few days has totally stressed me out. I'm going to either have to develop better coping skills, or I'm gonna have to start taking some kind of herbal remedy to soothe these tangled nerves. I'm hoping things are going to even out once everything is set and the store has launched officially, but who knows. None of this is even really going to seem real to me until the money is wired to me and I've got my new wheel and I'm cranking out yarn. Still seems like some kind of weird dream. Especially because my partner is in Australia, so we've never met face to face and we haven't even Skyped yet. There's always a lag in email communication time too, because one of us is generally sleeping when the other emails.
Time will tell, I suppose. No sense in getting so goddamn stressed out about everything if I can help it, I've just got to find a way to help it until I can develop better coping mechanisms I guess. Because shutting down is not, and will never be an option. Never helps anything anyway. Productivity always makes me feel better anyway. *sigh* Ok, back to work...

New! new. NEW!!! NEWWWWWWW new! New? new!

New is exciting, but new is also a ton of work!

New name picked for new launch of company. (Company of 1+ Aussie business partner)

This means new:

Email address.
Etsy Shop.
Instagram.
Twitter.
Facebook Page.
Pinterest.
Blog.
Logo.
Graphics.
Business cards.
Labels.

First and foremost, comes the logo- all related graphics are based on that. Text is going to play an important part this time around, as there are a lot of letters in the new name. Not gonna reveal it until the time comes for everything to launch, but some time around mid June this will be happening, as long as everything goes according to plan. Business partner saw the yarn pictures I sent her and fell in love, so that's not an issue!

off to work I go. SO FRIGGIN' STOKED. 

Fear of Success

As stupid as that sounds, it seems I have it. I think it's because I really enjoy being a low profile hermit, and success means more exposure. But, here's the thing:

I have an investor in my business now. She's got a good head for business, unlike me. She's determined to see this succeed, and that means I now have a business plan and contracts to go through and amend and what not. My hopes and dreams could be a reality! All that's left to do is work for them, and I've got no problem doing that. Money was the only thing holding me back, and if things go well, that won't be an issue for long. So, despite the panicked buzzing in my head, I'm pushing forward.

Well, after dinner, anyway. My fella is taking me out for Thai because happy Mother's Day to the mother of his cats! <3

breaking news update!

I don't want to jinx anything so I feel I ought to keep my mouth shut, but... without saying anything, I just may yet not only get a new spinning wheel, but re-vamp my spinning business too! 

FINGERS SO CROSSED

In other news, I've been fighting off suspected pneumonia, but am keeping it in check with a steady barrage of dayquil, nyquil and mucinex DM. Tons of garlic in everything I eat, lots of sleep, and cinnamon tea have been helping too. Frustrated that I haven't been able to work out in a week now- I had made excellent progress, was able to do TWO WHOLE REAL push ups, as opposed to the bent knee push ups I'd been doing. I hope I haven't lost that ability! I feel like a foggy fucking blob and it's driving me batty. Hopefully I'll be rid of it soon, ain't nobody got time for that. 

Seriously excited though about my business prospects. Trying not to count chickens before they hatch, but damn, it's hard :-P

I suck at updating...

...but only because I'm too busy doing things worth updating about! Or at least, that's what I'm telling you ;-) No really though, I've been busy with good stuff. I knit myself a tank top out of yarn I've recycled from sweaters, but as you can see here it's a bit too small. I lengthened the straps, but it's still gonna be a while before I'll feel comfortable wearing it :-P BOOBS!

I finally finished the wedding shawl commission, and even got a sweet deal on some real freshwater pearls to add to it:

This thing is freakin' HUUUUGE, I can't wait until she gets it!

And of course, I've been doing a LOT of spinning.

In other news... my soul sister, despite her husband's vasectomy, is pregnant. And she's decided to keep it, despite previously not wanting a kid. She's taken it as a sign from the gods, and after the initial shock and panic wore off, I'm getting excited for her. Might be the only baby I'll ever get excited about, because I know she's going to be a damn fine mom. Not only that, but I'll have a chance to turn the kid into a knitter! (we suspect it'll be a girl, though it's way too early to tell- but even if it isn't, I'll try my luck anyway! Hey, I've got to leave my yarn stash to SOMEONE when I die, right?) Also I know she'll spare the gory details- no ultrasound pictures or placenta recipes on facebook from her! I'm going to knit and crochet a storm for this kid, from stuffed animals to clothes to booties to blankets...!

I'm working on tank top number two from recycled yarn currently, though. Currently as in, "stop typing and get back to work." Yeeeahhhh, gotta get that done. Bye!

Woolly Goodness & Other Stuff Too

Did I ever mention that my spinning wheel is finally here? My beautiful, antique Borghildr? (pronounced "Borihilder", and roll that first R, bitches!) My soul sister's visit was all too brief, but glorious. She spoiled the cats rotten with toys and treats, and I made my famous kick ass steak salad, and we drank mead, made some interesting smoothies involving cashew cream, and watched Vikings. There was also the feeding of strawberries and waltzing across the kitchen floor to Wardruna, all in all a splendid time.

Borghildr (who came with a 4.5 lb bag of roving from my soul sister's mom, the roving itself from sheep they had on the farm when she was growing up) has been cleaned and oiled, though I should probably give her more oil soon. She's got a few kinks, probably due to age and use, but I've learned how to work around them. For example, she's supposed to be set up with a double drive band configuration, but due to her wheel wobble, that's not an option. So I've set her up as a single, with a makeshift tension brake on the bobbin to increase the uptake speed. It's so strange, how familiar I feel with her. It doesn't feel like I am a new owner of an antique wheel, it feels like we've been reunited. She's even appeared in a few of my dreams. It's almost like she's part of me, or a physical manifestation of a part of me. We really are meant to be together <3

Touching love story of girl and wheel aside, everything else is pretty much the same. I had to skip a few weeks of weight lifting due to phlegm and cold issues, but now I'm getting back on track. I'm working on an epic wedding shawl, I made my first ever chicken soup from scratch with no recipe and no idea what I was doing (and it was SO DAMN GOOD I ate 8/10 of it, oops), I'm almost moved entirely out of Harlem, and... yeah, nothing terribly exciting, I suppose.

ok, my splitting headache isn't subsiding very much, so I guess I'm gonna head to bed now. Hopefully I won't have any more stupid dreams about forgetting the combination to my locker in high school, for fuck's sake. Could a dream be ANY MORE BORING?!

Yarnorexia AGAIN

I'm knitting a wedding shawl for a friend and the damn yarn isn't fine enough. I need to hunt for thinner yarn. The yarn is about fingering weight, I need at LEAST lace weight or finer. Bloody hell. Off I go to hunt some more this week, I guess.

I sold some hats to a motorcycle club via a friend last Friday & got to hang out in their clubhouse for a bit- that was fun. Looking forward to having more orders coming in. They're knit in the clubs colors, with the name on them and a shamrock or iron cross, depending on the design used.

My soul sister is coming to visit this weekend, FINALLY! After countless delays and cancellations, we are rock solid this time :-D I finally get to have my spinning wheel here. I can't wait to see my anam cara, my soul sister- I've been obsessively preparing and buying things to make the apartment ready for her. New shower curtain/liner, new bath mats, nice new candle, gonna clean the apartment from top to bottom JOYFULLY, knowing that it's all for her arrival. SQUEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!

I don't remember if I mentioned that I started to lift weights, but I have, and it's way more effective than walking, not gonna lie. Jesus, I feel stupid for not having done this sooner. Though I haven't lost a significant amount of weight yet, I feel a lot stronger. Scratch that, I AM a lot stronger. At first, I couldn't even get through the entire workout that I've picked. (Starting with 10lb weights.)That was a month ago. Now? I have no problem getting through the whole thing. It's still a challenge though, which is good... that's why it's called a WORK out :-P

Ugh ugh ugh I also managed to work myself sick over those hats, so I'm gonna go blow my nose now, and drink some more of my cold buster tea that I invented (it works better than the meds I bought!)- cinnamon, ginger, cloves, nutmeg, and black pepper. Gonna work some more on my soul sister's shawl too. I have to get it done before she comes, and I'm not even half finished, yikes! Only 6 more sleeps until she's here :-D

Still here, just busy.

Dealt with commission from hell recently, partially because client was hellish herself, while still being super nice. It was draining as fuck and I'm glad I'm shipping that shit out tomorrow. Fella got a new job, I started painting again, Sooja and Borghildr (my wheel) are coming at the end of the month, finally. Cats are doing well, business is doing well on all fronts, and I'm glad to have reconnected with a friend from a few years ago. She's got a very similar sense of humor, which is rare, and we're both knitters who love chaos and occult things. She's also got two cats as well, and we have great fun making up stories about them to each other. Yes, I'm a crazy cat lady, don't be jealous if you don't know the love of a cat <3

Buuuuutttt more interestingly, I'm starting weight loss attempt #2: the weight lifting edition. I am more determined than ever this time, so hopefully it works. I've switched from drinking sugary fruity teas to plain, unsweetened green tea. and I think that alone will make a huge difference. It's not enough for me to lose weight though, I wanna get MUSCULAR. I've finally decided it's time to make the outside match the inside, and the warrior bitch on the inside doesn't look like a couch potato. I've been greedily scrolling through tons of before and after weight loss pics for inspiration, and I feel like I've totally got a chance this time. By the time I turn 30 in a year and a half, I want to have reclaimed my body, and I want to be living on MY terms. And I will. <3