Tuesday, April 29, 2014

I FUCKING DID IT.

With days to spare, I smashed my goal of 100 miles from April 5 to May 3rd, and walked 102.1 miles in 23 days. Not only that, but I'm capable of walking 16-17 minute miles. Some people can barely jog a 16 minute mile! Granted, that's still pushing myself, but to know I'm capable is pretty fucking rad. I've got to start doing other exercises, and I've been planning and implementing better, more serious changes to my diet, so I'm pretty excited to see the changes in the hopefully not too distant future. It's all about eating clean for me, so to speak- I know that's a trendy catchphrase now, but for me it's a little different because I was a REALLY "dirty" eater. I'm trying to eat more roastable veggies (NOTHING thrills me quite like roasted brussels sprouts or asparagus!) and while I'd love to go crazy on berries, I'm a little too poor at the moment. Portion control is becoming a thing now, too. Like, what the hell self, you're putting half an avocado back in the fridge? You've still got sprouts left? WHO ARE YOU.

Anyhow, the point is that I feel I've got more tools and plot points to help me reach my goals now. I'm also becoming more aware of how my mentality affects my eating. Today, while grumpily sewing an elephant ear on to a stuffed toy I knit for a commission, I got really frustrated and instantly, my body translated that to HUNGRY SO HUNGRY, hey, you know what? EAT SOMETHING DELICIOUS AND BAD FOR YOU and you'll feel better! Maybe it's a really perverted form of masochism- I'm mad at myself for not being very good at sewing on some level, so my head wants to punish me with something that isn't good for me, but I'll like, therefore wanting more of, therefore punishing me more. I'm still in self destruct mode every now and then, so I've got to catch it as it's happening and re-link my mental processes to more healthy things.

No shit man, if you took the me from a year ago and time traveled her to the me now, she'd laugh at you and say it wasn't gonna be her, ever. I'm literally a different person now... it's insane.




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